First World Problem #193

A few days before Christmas I picked up some Mennonite maple fudge at a farmer’s market.  I even managed to get it home and into the fridge for a week without any of it mysteriously disappearing.  The plan was to place it on fancy antique plate that had been my grandmother’s and present it to a niece as a hostess gift.  That seemed particularly appropriate given that my grandmother Frances Stouffer (nee Hoover) came from a Pennsylvania Dutch / Mennonite background and every Christmas she would serve her own homemade maple fudge on that very plate.

The problem and my solution were decidedly non-Mennonite.  As I was going to be driving 150 km to the family get-together, I felt that it would be best to wrap the plate in some sort of translucent plastic and finish with a bow.  So off to the Eaton Centre I went, heading straight for the Hallmark Store.

This is where the plan started to unravel.  The Eaton Centre Hallmark Store has closed.  For good.  I suppose that shouldn’t come as a surprise as I haven’t mailed Christmas cards in years and this year I received just two.   I also tend to give gift cards or pick up tabs in restaurants so I don’t buy a lot of gift wrap these days.

Surely Shopper’s Drug Mart would still have cellophane on December 27, wouldn’t they?  Nope.  Shoppers had 5 rolls of wrapping paper in stock – in a lovely skull and crossbones motif – but no cellophane.  The cashier suggested Indigo. 

When asked if they carried cellophane, a 20-something female clerk at Indigo said, “Cellophane? Liiiiike plastic?” while shooting me a look as if I had asked to skin a baby seal right there in the store.  She suggested recycled tissue paper that came in packs of 4 sheets for about $18,000.  Or thereabouts.  Maybe a bit less. 

It was at that point that I remembered Dollarama at Yonge & Dundas.  Not three meters inside their door was a display of about 500 rolls of clear and silver-tinted cellophane for a buck a roll.  I resisted the urge to stock up and left the store with a single roll, happy to have saved $17,999.  Or thereabouts. 

The next morning, just before setting out for the family get-together, I went to wrap the fudge and realized that I must have left the cellophane on the subway.  

6 Responses to “First World Problem #193”

  1. Jane Belore

    Oh Mike!!! I am not laughing I am comiserating!!!!

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